i like to hit the floor sometimes.

goin' ta illadelph

2004-09-18T18:17:28Z

so for michael's b-day emily sent him a plane ticket to philly. i had known about it before, she called me up to ask if it would be a good present. it was so funny, michael was talking to me as he opened the care package she sent. he was like, 'she gave me this sick anime wall scroll." i was like, "aight, i'm out." (not tryin to spoil his surprise) and then he's like, "whoa." hehe. em said i have to come aslo, i asked my parents and theyre gonna git me a ticket too =)! i'm so fxckin stoked. i've never been to the east coast before. we're gonna leave on oct 4th and come back the 18th. we'll prolly stay at em's place but hit up ny too. which is sick as fuck cuz i getta see jon and genna too =). i gotta buy my ticket either today or tomorrow tho, cuz prices will only continue to go ^. k, gonna go burn a mix cd and bounce up outta here. - peace bij

Fricka Fricka Fresh

2004-09-12T13:07:36Z

haven't posted in a while, just been staying up every night with cody making beats. we were straight robotrippin and makin such sick shit last night. i'm totally addicted to making music right now. i'm so happy about it too, creativity owns my soul. ahem, ok, so someone else owns this soul, and i'm grateful He showed me this path right now. i can't even explain how extactic i've been every morning. i have like a new zest for life er sum ish. i dunno. i really feel like i've found something i can try and do for the rest of my life. it started when i decided to download reason 2.5 (music software) and it took me God knows how long and then all this installation red tape and shit to get thru(and of course my own dumb ass problems to boot) but me and michael finally got it working. cody has just been showing me how to use it and its seriously the most fun i've had in soooo long. even video games have lost there appeal (i know, how is that possible?)
what else is ^? well i just came back from the city, jeff was having some kids over. yeah right, more like all of MV (415 represent, bitches.)showed up. it was tight, i saw some fools i ain't seen in hecka long. found my wallet (thanks again big guy). talked to these freshman (don't trip, college game) girls who were pretty chill. it was hella funny, they all started givin me shit for not introducin myself when i was tryin to get thru. i was talkin to this girl Alexa for a while =]. good stuff. i should prolly git sum sleep tho, its like 6 in the mornin and shxt, my sleep pattern is totally ruined. thanks a lot fellas. oh yeah, the folks been outta town for a couple days now so i've had the place to myself (and anyone else who might be asleep in my house right now). that reminds me, i need to clean. bad. haha. lemme hang this ol' john deere hat on the lamp and call it a night. or morning. or shut up. stay up, i'm out. - k

leaving on a jet plane

2004-09-03T17:03:20Z

so jon and genna are gone. i hope they have mad fun in ny. hope i'll be able to go out there at some point and bother em n shxt. seriously tho, they've both been such good friends to me this summer. jon is probably the most generous person i know. wouldn't hesitate for a second to split whatever he has in half with me. and genna would just kick it for the sake of hanging out. she'd go out of her way to come get me and she never made me feel less of myself, unlike some other fake ass fools. you guys will be missed sorely, take care of your selves out there =). i'm going to church on sunday...i'm kinda nervous since i've been in a church maybe like 3 times in my entire life. i'm going by myself. i just want some answers and see if it can help me get my life back in order. i've always thought the idea of religion was a good thing in nature. i've just been so hesitant because of the ways i've seen it exploited. the truth of the matter is that i've experienced too much to not believe in God. i've had faith all along. i know that for certain. now its just time to test myself and direct it. ciao bella.

newshit

2004-08-20T00:27:33Z

got a new comp today =). weeee! heh, k settle down. its dope. fast. sexy. umm. yeah. thats about it on that. need to get highspeed, guy coming in on the 25th for that. i hope it'll be able to play hl2 or at least doom3. anyways. yeah, came back from sonoma and got dropped off by jon. just chillin with the folks now, dinners almost ready, michael and jon wanna kick it later, i might come out. dunno yet. it smells like new plastic stuff in here. my comp needs some axe er somethin. heh. k...bye? =) - kaz<3

y o y

2004-08-19T08:28:14Z

over at stephanie's in sonoma with jon and jo. fun stuff, talked to jamerz today, she is at cheer camp. chill. decided i'ma try and stay in the east coast for about a week or so before me and michael connect to transfering flights to europe. be able to see jon and genna and mebbe emily if we swing down to philly. ooo, hella cleaned my room today, put up a ton of pics on my wall with all my new posters =). threw away so much trash and junk, found hella things i thought i'd lost for good. put my che flag poster on the ceiling, vacuumed, um. yeah. my digs is tight now. not they weren't before. shutup. i realized that i still hella miss jamie, think about her hella much. its weird, i've been having the most vivid dreams this past month. i don't think i've ever dreamt this much. i don't know whats the cause of this but in most of em my friends are there, the usual suspects, michael, genna, jeff, and more recently you know who. i realize why things aren't as i'd like em, and its because thats no way to maintain a relationship. but i'm hoping some day...i don't know. michael tells me i just need to find someone new. but i've tried to...i just see her face. wtf. what is it that makes me so goddamn addicted to her. why can't i fall out of love. or in love with someone else. and why am i angry for wanting to be in love with anyone else. why can't i escape this single thought. my back hurts. time for sleepy bye. <3

cleantheblade @ 2004-08-15T12:47:00

2004-08-15T20:00:50Z

as calm, cool and collected as i try to be
i find myself caught up within this tragedy
a girl that i'm in love with is not in love with me
and all i really want is for me to be free
free of the torment, the thoughts inside my head
feelings that haunt me when i lay in my bed
its like a part of me, inside, has wound up dead
like i'm suddenly drowning with a heart made out of lead
starting this with you, i should have been prepared
i'm too much like a little kid who really never cared
never read the signs, always jumped in first
like i have some desire, a hunger or a thirst
ending this with you, it hurt more than i thought
i still miss all the times we had, even when we fought
and if you ask me now, i agree it wasn't right
to make you and i stay inside every single night
but somehow, for a while, we had found each other
and i could open myself up to you like no other
and maybe its true, i should have stayed your brother
but the other half of me will always want you as my lover

cleantheblade @ 2004-08-11T15:48:00

2004-08-11T22:53:39Z

gotta bunch change i needa turn into $$$. got a ton of ideas floatin. just found out my parents are going to send me to europe. welp, um, pay for it at least. thats fantastic. =). gonna go practice driving with my dad tomorrow. gonna go git me a passport. gonna get my bike soon. lil bummed some people are gone. lil bummed some people are still here =p. no joke. the few fake people i know are pretty severely...fake. ahem. anyways. went to the city last night, kicked it with my boys. can't wait till i can leave. wanna meet people. people keep tellin me i needa girl. heh. theyre probably right. in time, no? yeah, good things come to those who wait, but if i hesitate i might be late.

cleantheblade @ 2004-08-07T18:16:00

2004-08-08T01:18:22Z

had an emotionally breackdown last night. hmm, not a breakdown. no. breakthrough. i talked to my parents last night about all the shit thats been fucking with my head for the past 4 months. how empty and terrified of taking responsibility with my life i've become. how dependent i became on things that will NOT help me. its just so strange because i've never felt comfortable enough to tell them these things. personal things. why i quit that job. why i'm never home. why i have these dreams. not even sure if they qualify as dreams. heh. for a while i thought i might have some deep seeded psychological problems. i wouldnt let myself sleep. my mind would be on a million things at once. and all of them i was afraid of. none of them i wanted to deal with. i just want my sister back so i can tell her these things.

back in millvill

2004-08-05T04:36:41Z

just came back from the russian river, kiersten's family's cabin is up there. its hella mad gorgeous up there. did me good being out there. got my head clear. me and michael went up with emily, kiersten and their friend sarah. we came back early because kiersten fell ill. she collapsed at the safeway near the place. me and michael were outside when it happened. they called the ambulance, luckily she was fine. she suspects she might have hypoglycemia or somethin. scary. we went to the river today and swam n' soaked up hella sunshine. it was dope. comin' back wasn't. =\ oh well. s'all goot. just chillen at michael's with him and emily right now. dunno what we's about to do. ooo, took hella pictures. needa get em developed. say bye to more $$$. grr. it can't be helped right? =) guess i'll cheer up just because. heh. peace.

the day after

2004-07-25T19:26:55Z

yesterday. woke up and met up with emily at her work. picked up michael, mobbed up to berkeley and saw this dope play in the park. we kicked a few bowls in this abandoned house thingee there. then we kicked it on telegraph for a while. got the first 5 episodes of Noir on dvd for like 7 bucks. shweet. hmm, then we came back into town (me, michael, emily and kirsten) and met up with john and shawn at the dl. got some rum and bounced over to danni's. we got pretty krunked up there hehe. took some mushroom caramels with michael and the rest of the night was just a blur.

de miguel's

2004-07-16T17:53:55Z

so yesterday i hung out with my pops, lol. he took me to his work and i met all these fools he works with. got a this black oakley shirt while i was there. we brought my mom some lunch and then went cell phone shopping. think i'ma get my phone in a couple days. hmm, then i got dropped off and met john and jeff and we mobbed over to dan's and then siobhans. i was perfectly fine before we started playing fuck the dealer. i was the dealer. 'nuff said. i was mad krunked by 6:00 and then michael and genna came over. oh, saw genna earlier when i was buyin shoes. dark blue vanz and white lugz 'case ya'll was wondering =). hmm, then james came over, devin too. that was a little weird cuz i sorta just bitched out on my job and devin is still there. i felt guilty. oh well, then around 9, me, devin, michael and james went to see anchorman with will farrel. it was ok. some parts were kinda retarded. dude from the daily show was fxcking hilarious. hmm, michael has his driving test in a few hours and he's still asleep. mebbe i'll go play some more ffvii.

story time

2004-07-14T08:25:56Z

Carbuncle’s curious gaze drifted over the patrons and denizens of the pub as he clasped his coat tightly around his exhausted body. The flesh of fallen angels never tire though the soul lay riddled with torment and an almost justified loathing and pity for man. “Curious creatures,” Carbuncle muttered to himself over his single malt whiskey. The alcohol would have zero effect on his angelic being; it was mostly for appearances, which is what he was best at. Writing with as much purpose as a mortal in his banking and finances, Carb adds another entry into his little black book. A man would most likely necessitate large quantities of alcohol along with other mind-altering substances in order to recover from the utter shock and disbelief if he were to learn of Carbuncles Swift’s vocation. A shepherd of the weak. This was the punishment for fraternizing with one of Piotre’s concubines.
Carb rose from his stool, eyes fixated on an exit carved from mahogany and trimmed in a dull drab gray finish,. As he placed the 2 quid on the bar he accomplished 2 things. He paid for his drink, and he stumbled rather fool heatedly into a woman of striking beauty but abysmal stature. Had the alcohol taken its effect he might have mistaken her for a child. There hands grazed an all but intimate touch and our hero was called to service once again. Brilliant light encompassed his mind as he played cipher to all of her sins and transgressions dating from present to preternatural stages in her life. Only one thing was particularly odd about this subject’s life record. It was riddled with holes; segments appeared to be missing as if at times she simply did not exist. Carbuncle sighed with the realization that that she was indeed trans-dimensional, an error in the fabric of nature. If only he could explain the dilemma to her and promptly ask her to never do it again but rather join him for a drink and many lines with the purpose of sleeping with her…Alas, battle would ensue.
Carb shoved open the door with one hand and with the other danced his cane along the cobblestone lane. He adjusted his glasses and sunk into the cumbersome shadows and recesses of the adjacent alley. Breath drew slowly and pained through his aching lungs. He had never experienced pain before when he knew he was going to dispel one of God’s children. Turning the handle on the cane counter clockwise he unsheathed his blade in a rather somber manner and waited impatiently. Was this pain a cause of the confliction? A disagreement with wants and needs. “Desire often plays these games,” he thought to himself. The cause of his distress exited rather precociously. In vain were her attempts because at that moment the street lantern shown upon her pale, supple face, revealing her delicate throat. An almost audible whisper transpired followed by the all-to-familiar sound of metal on a wooden doorframe. She had teleported…Carbuncle sighed once again with an air of continence. It would be a very long evening indeed. =)

I'm what movie?

2004-07-14T08:17:39Z

Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

MC-17 Speaks

2004-07-14T08:13:54Z

reinventing the industry on a galactic scale
rapped over more heads than a profolactic sale
I'm a sentient MC, my beats are aleatoric
with alien rhymes to replace those which are prehistoric
broadcast my pirate signal from a distant constellation
all your indiginous flows are just mental masturbation
i search for planets with underdeveloped bass lines
my style's so acidic that you can't even taste mine
transmit musical data thru higher mathematics
i'd land on terra firma but get shot with automatics
and when its received, mistaken as a solar flare
now i duck and cover and hide within a spatial tear

cause not all heathens
understand the rhyme or reason
but when they make music its like theyre committing treason
disgracing a universe
with lyrics profane and perverse
the contents not the issue
its your style that begs for tissue

i plot out a course
to create a trojan horse
disguised as a cargo freighter
in reality a space invader
uploading lyrical schemes
thru particle beams
defragment your bling bling
and chrome chrome cha-ching dreams
relay a message with solar substance and anti-matter
its a batter that makes you fatter
when the background chatter sounds of flatter--
flattery?
i'm powered by fusion while you're on batteries
pardon my intrusion but you call that a salary?
are you finished? well allow me to retort
cause i can teleport
and the time it takes is short
rather, instantaneous
when we jump simultaneous
the pain is just too strenuous
like speading vehicles as we kick it into overdrive
you swerve and miss me but then fail to realize
the ground is non-existent like the wiley coyote
he missed that roadrunner and tripped like he was on peyote

(chorus x2)